Street Improv!
An A-Level Performance Studies class...
FEMALE TEACHER 1: We’re gonna go into town and improvise. You’re gonna do something outrageous, we want people to stop and stare.
FEMALE TEACHER 2: Then you’re going to gauge the public reaction and think about how that makes you feel, then improvise movement based on that when we get back.
Female Teachers 1, 2 & the Course Leader escort their Performance Studies class to the high street.
FEMALE TEACHER 1: You’re gonna start in three minutes. Completely improvised, guys, OK? Whatever comes to mind.
The teachers all retreat to a safe distance and Female Teacher 2 films on camcorder. Before the three minutes are up, Rachid slips in the wet and the improvisation begins.]
CHIN: You f*ing prick!
Chin throws one of his crutches at Rachid, who remains face down on the ground. Pavitra charges at Chin, snatching his other crutch. Chin hops around. Much more shouting and swearing ensues, and members of the public are slowing down and looking scared.
Course Leader approaches two old ladies, who have been walking arm in arm, sharing an umbrella.
COURSE LEADER: [to old ladies] Have you seen this? This is appalling! This is the behaviour of our youth today!
FIRST OLD LADY: Yes, it is! It’s ridiculous!
SECOND OLD LADY: [looking at Rachid] Hang on, isn’t anyone going to see if he’s alright?
COURSE LEADER: He’s fine, he always does that.
SECOND LADY: [ignoring Course Leader to Rachid] Young man? Are you alright?
By now a large crowd has gathered. They are watching with trepidation. A loud-mouthed man (LMM) tries to intervene, and goes down to Rachid to see if he’s okay. Rachid tries to get up, but the LMM stops him.
LMM: No, you stay down there, mate, take it easy.
Another (seemingly ordinary!) member of the public, who is actually an off-duty policeman (ODP), runs into the scene and grabs Pavitra by his jumper.
PAVITRA: [aggressively] Can you get off me, please?
ODP: Now you’re gonna calm down. [to Chin] You’re gonna come here, tell me what’s going on, [to Pavitra] you’re gonna tell me what’s going on, [produces wallet, shows police badge] before you get nicked!
PAVITRA groans...
CHIN: It’s our drama, it’s like...
Female Teacher 1 runs in to try and help the situation. Female Teacher 2 & Course Leader follow close behind.
FEMALE TEACHER 1: Hi, I’m their teacher, we’ve set up an exercise in improvisation, so we could see how people react...
ODP: You did what? Do you realise what you’re doing?
FEMALE TEACHER 1: No.
ODP: You’ve created a public disturbance here! These people are genuinely worried about what’s going on, or what seems to have been going on, you’ve stopped them from going about their business.
FEMALE TEACHER 1: The idea is we were studying a dance work, and as a response to that...
ODP: [pointing strongly at students] That is over the top.
FEMALE TEACHER 1: Well, I didn’t know they were gonna do that.
ODP: You’re their teacher, you’re responsible!
Course Leader steps forward and extends his hand, which is ignored by the ODP.
COURSE LEADER: Hi, I’m the Course Leader, I feel it’s my responsibility to…
ODP: Right, as I’ve just been saying to your colleague here, what you’re doing is thoroughly irresponsible.
COURSE LEADER: Yes, I understand that, and perhaps they went a bit over the top, but from our point of view, we’re setting up an educational experiment here and…
ODP: No, you can’t do that. You just can’t. This is outrageous, and you’ve stopped these people in their tracks.
LMM: [sticking nose in!] Yes, it’s outrageous! You’re taking the mick out of the public!
Meanwhile, Rachid is still in the same position on the ground. A man with a bicycle (MWB) interrupts what’s going on.
MWB: Oi, ‘scuse me, do you want me to get an ambulance for him?
COURSE LEADER: No, no, he’s…
ODP: No, he’s not hurt, is he?
Rachid gets up and joins the group.
ODP: Now, it’s my day off today, and I’ve had to come here and sort this out. You’ve ruined my day off now. Where’s your Head Teacher?
FEMALE TEACHER 1: What?
ODP: Where’s your Head Teacher? I want to speak to him, now.
COURSE LEADER: He’s actually back at school at this present moment in time, he’s…
ODP: What school is it?
Female Teacher 1 tells the Off Duty Policeman the name of the school. The ODPM then takes each teacher’s name.
ODP: Okay. In future, you don’t do this sort of thing, at all, without following the necessary procedures. All you have to do, from our perspective, as policemen, all you need to do is put up signs. That’s all you have to do, and you’re away.
COURSE LEADER: I appreciate that, but under the circumstances…
FEMALE TEACHER 2: That defeats the object of the exercise, our aim was to surprise the public.
ODP: This activity has resulted in people being emotionally worried and has delayed them.
COURSE LEADER: We just wanted to get some sort of reaction.
ODP: Well, you certainly got that.
COURSE LEADER: Well, yeah.
The ODP sweeps off, taking out his mobile phone. Female Teacher 2 follows discretely.
The public start to move off and go about their business again. Some loud people in a shop doorway start to laugh and shout.
LOUD PEOPLE: Student exercise and he’s CID, innit!
The loud people move off as well.
COURSE LEADER: Oh dear.
FEMALE TEACHER 1: Oh my god.
PAVITRA: Whoah!
FEMALE TEACHER 2: comes back.
FEMALE TEACHER 2: He’s on the phone to the school, I heard him.
COURSE LEADER: What’s he saying?
FEMALE TEACHER 2: I don’t know, but he wasn’t happy. [to boys] Right, come on, we’re going back.
LMM: Excuse me, you’re not going to use that footage.
FEMALE TEACHER 2: What?
LMM: You were filming everything that went on.
FEMALE TEACHER 2: I wasn’t.
LMM: I saw you holding the camera, you were filming members of the public. You use that, you use anyone’s face in anything and you’re in trouble. You haven’t asked permission from any one of those people.
FEMALE TEACHER 2: It’s a public place, you don’t have to ask permission from everyone, they have to expect it.
LMM: Simply not true. You wipe that footage off now, where I can see, or you’ll be in deeper trouble that you are anyway.
FEMALE TEACHER 2: Come on, boys.
The boys, together with the staff, make their way back to school. At the pedestrian traffic lights, Female Teacher 2 tiredly shakes her head.
FEMALE TEACHER 2: [sighs] ...Why did it have to be a fight?